Just finished reading Tom Hodgekinson's " How to be idle". What a fantastic book. It actually encompasses what I have felt throughout my life but haven't been able to articulate it. There is no better way of life then living an idle life!! What does that mean? Do nothing? Yes, to a certain extent. Live in harmony with life and the world. Living an idle life is the finest way of living I've come across (trust me! I've been part of the rat race for over 30 years). When there are no targets i.e. get up at 6.30 am rush to office by 9.00 sit like a drone till 6.00 (Can't leave early - what will the boss think!!) reach home too tired to really do what one wants. Sit in front of the TV have a few drinks, eat dinner go to sleep. What a life!!
I now get up at my own time (around 7.10, b'cause of the kids) read a bit with my tea (its become a routine), exercise for about 25 minutes (not an idle moment there), have breakfast and get ready by 10.30 or so. Now either I work at home or go out and meet people, see shows, go to the library or do whatever is necessary. 4 days in a week lunch is at home with the kids (maybe more). Have a nap for 25 minutes and then am fit to take on the world again. Evening I go for a walk/ jog and after that I have a drink which can carry on even after dinner. Friends drop in of and on and I find that conversation is much more interesting after a drink. The art of conversation is livened up with a drink. Without a drink I find that most conversations are either gossip, complaints, monologues or asinine talks on shopping. I find that Ad's and marketing have made good living very difficult.
I try my best to live the good life and an idle life. It's not easy - there are too many things, people, occasions and events that try and draw me back to "The real world", Wife, children, schools friends etc. Everyone knows what I'm doing. In their heart of heart I think they support it however people are quite fazed by the fact that I'm not interested in working from 8 to whatever time for a salary of a couple of crores. How come I'm not interested in buying a house?? a bigger car?? designer clothes?? and... god knows what else.
Do we require all these to lead a good life??
I think not
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Idle thoughts
How time passes!! I keep feeling that I have all the time in the world to do what I want! Somehow it doesn't happen. The moment you decide that money is not the criteria for living a life, there are so many other things, thoughts and events that start to crowd the mind. There is so much to do (not achieve) that one again finds that there is no time (how silly). I have now gone back to the time tested rule - If you think a thing is important, you'll always find the time.
I think this is the best test that one can take. Whatever you do! Is it important to you? Or are you doing it for some other reason (social,economic,political). How does whatever you do effect your life?
If whatever you've done has helped you materialy, socialy or economicaly but has not helped your peace of mind!
Is it worth it?? I think not at all, you think whatever. It's your life
I think this is the best test that one can take. Whatever you do! Is it important to you? Or are you doing it for some other reason (social,economic,political). How does whatever you do effect your life?
If whatever you've done has helped you materialy, socialy or economicaly but has not helped your peace of mind!
Is it worth it?? I think not at all, you think whatever. It's your life
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Experiencing the ultimate
It has been some time now since my last post and the memory of the dive has become slightly hazy, so let me put my recollection of that day down now.
On 9 Feb morning we were of to Deesa airport at 7 am. It was just a normal strip with lots of land around it. The plane was late but finally it arrived by 11. The weather was perfect but windy and Thapar decided to postpone my jump for the next day. I was just a spectator watching people jump, some good some bad and one guy refused to jump at all. Thapar was outstanding and Bally was improving with each jump. at 3.30, Thapar said to put on the parachute and other gear, I was going next. I got ready and waited for the plane to return along with Thapar and Balli. I was nervous as the moment got closer and a bit scared. My main worry was what'll happen to the kids if something goes wrong. It was to late now for having second thoughts and I used a meditation technique of unclutching the mind.
The plane arrived and we got on. I was to jump first and so was seated next to the open door above the wheel. We started and it was a great sight watching the wheel on the runway, slowly rising and seeing the ground start getting smaller. It was magnificent.
At 3500 feet the craft levelled out and Thapar told me to get into position. I tell you it was not an easy thing to do in a Cessna. You have to crouch low so that the parachute doesn't touch the roof, lean out of the craft into the wind and put your left foot out on the wheel rod holding on to the sides (without fingers its a nightmare). It was scary looking down at the ground but I was too occupied in getting into the correct position to worry. Thapar tapped me and I jumped.
I started counting 1000, 2000, 3000 ad then I heard the parachute deploying, I looked up and it was quite spectacular watching it open and stabilise. I looked down and saw the scenery from far, it was completely silent except for the flapping of the runner and it was beautiful. I looked up and saw the toggles, it was so easy putting them around my wrists and then I took control.
It is the greatest feeling on earth, floating in the silent sky, going left, right around and best of all stalling, even the sound of the runner stops and there is total silence.
I must have been in the air for 7 to 8 minutes and noticed that the round was coming close, I suddenly looked at the altimeter and it showed 1260 ft. I started to manoeuvre into position for landing, took time to align my self and looked at the meter again, it still showed 1260. I forgot about it now and tried to judge the distance visually. I thought of making one last turn to get into position and land on the marked DZ but was not sure whether I had sufficient height and therefore controlled my descent. As I came close I knew I would overshoot the marker but that couldn't be helped. I raised my hands completely and increased my rate of descent rapidly so that it looked as if I'm falling vertically. Less then 10 feet from the ground I stalled and my forward movement came to a standstill, I came out of stall but fell approx 3 feet and landed on my feet totally and completely happy.
As drilled I gathered the parachute and by then the vehicle came to pick me up. All the people were so happy and proud of my jump. I had accomplished something that in their experience no one had done earlier.
I was euphoric. I had achieved something unexpected. It was an eye opening experience. Handicaps are all in the mind. If one decides to do something he can achieve it.
One should always go for something unique and different. Life has to be lived to its ultimate.
On 9 Feb morning we were of to Deesa airport at 7 am. It was just a normal strip with lots of land around it. The plane was late but finally it arrived by 11. The weather was perfect but windy and Thapar decided to postpone my jump for the next day. I was just a spectator watching people jump, some good some bad and one guy refused to jump at all. Thapar was outstanding and Bally was improving with each jump. at 3.30, Thapar said to put on the parachute and other gear, I was going next. I got ready and waited for the plane to return along with Thapar and Balli. I was nervous as the moment got closer and a bit scared. My main worry was what'll happen to the kids if something goes wrong. It was to late now for having second thoughts and I used a meditation technique of unclutching the mind.
The plane arrived and we got on. I was to jump first and so was seated next to the open door above the wheel. We started and it was a great sight watching the wheel on the runway, slowly rising and seeing the ground start getting smaller. It was magnificent.
At 3500 feet the craft levelled out and Thapar told me to get into position. I tell you it was not an easy thing to do in a Cessna. You have to crouch low so that the parachute doesn't touch the roof, lean out of the craft into the wind and put your left foot out on the wheel rod holding on to the sides (without fingers its a nightmare). It was scary looking down at the ground but I was too occupied in getting into the correct position to worry. Thapar tapped me and I jumped.
I started counting 1000, 2000, 3000 ad then I heard the parachute deploying, I looked up and it was quite spectacular watching it open and stabilise. I looked down and saw the scenery from far, it was completely silent except for the flapping of the runner and it was beautiful. I looked up and saw the toggles, it was so easy putting them around my wrists and then I took control.
It is the greatest feeling on earth, floating in the silent sky, going left, right around and best of all stalling, even the sound of the runner stops and there is total silence.
I must have been in the air for 7 to 8 minutes and noticed that the round was coming close, I suddenly looked at the altimeter and it showed 1260 ft. I started to manoeuvre into position for landing, took time to align my self and looked at the meter again, it still showed 1260. I forgot about it now and tried to judge the distance visually. I thought of making one last turn to get into position and land on the marked DZ but was not sure whether I had sufficient height and therefore controlled my descent. As I came close I knew I would overshoot the marker but that couldn't be helped. I raised my hands completely and increased my rate of descent rapidly so that it looked as if I'm falling vertically. Less then 10 feet from the ground I stalled and my forward movement came to a standstill, I came out of stall but fell approx 3 feet and landed on my feet totally and completely happy.
As drilled I gathered the parachute and by then the vehicle came to pick me up. All the people were so happy and proud of my jump. I had accomplished something that in their experience no one had done earlier.
I was euphoric. I had achieved something unexpected. It was an eye opening experience. Handicaps are all in the mind. If one decides to do something he can achieve it.
One should always go for something unique and different. Life has to be lived to its ultimate.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Experiencing the ultimate
On 7th morning after breakfast, Bally and I met all the rest of the crowd. All from the army except one guy Jitin. met two other instructors Surya & Rana and 4 gurkhas from the SFF who were going to be the packers (the most important people in skydiving). After a brief introduction to each other and skydiving, they put us through the paces. A jog for a couple of kms and then different positions, rolls etc. All this to enable us to land well and not break a leg.
Just before lunch the Commandant of the BSF bn and a friend of mine, Raj Singh Rathore, dropped in to meet. He insisted that I shift to his guest rooms, so along with Bally I said OK.
After lunch the drills continued and we were introduced to the parachute and then some theory and problems of jumping. Finally by about 8 pm it got over and we got back to the guest room.
Gujarat is a dry state with no alcohol however thanks to the BSF there was no problem and we had a good drink, good meat and stumbled into bed in an alcoholic slumber.
Next morning the drills continued.We learnt how to position our self before the jump, the position on jumping, waiting 5 seconds, checking if the chute has deployed and then freeing the toggles to gain control of the chute and steer it. We also learnt how to steer it, turn it etc. and we repeatedly rehearsed how to open the reserve parachute in case the main didn't open or got tangled. Finally we tried it out sitting in a harness.
Here I started having a problem because of no fingers. Firstly, I couldn't get a proper grip on the cutaway chord to release the main chute in order to deploy the reserve and I couldn't get a proper grip on the toggles to steer. There was a good chance that on releasing the toggles they might blow away in the wind leaving me at the mercy of the winds completely. The problem of the cutaway was sorted out by me gripping the chord with both hands and releasing it, however despite lots of tries, I was not confident about the toggles. On that basis we went for lunch.
Over lunch I discussed the matter with Bally and we decided that the best bet would be to wrap the toggles around the wrist. Wing co Thapar had arrived by then and after discussing it with him we tried it out. It worked like a dream and all my confidence returned in spades.
The drills continued till late evening and meanwhile the other guys who had done the ground training in a'bad had arrived along with Raj Ahuja who was going to free fall. We finally returned to the guest room late evening calling Thapar and his son for dinner. The plan was to have an early night but by the time Thapar came along with Raj the mood was good, we were also joined by Raj Singh and by the time the evening ended everyone was in a alcoholic daze eagerly anticipating the jump the next day.
Just before lunch the Commandant of the BSF bn and a friend of mine, Raj Singh Rathore, dropped in to meet. He insisted that I shift to his guest rooms, so along with Bally I said OK.
After lunch the drills continued and we were introduced to the parachute and then some theory and problems of jumping. Finally by about 8 pm it got over and we got back to the guest room.
Gujarat is a dry state with no alcohol however thanks to the BSF there was no problem and we had a good drink, good meat and stumbled into bed in an alcoholic slumber.
Next morning the drills continued.We learnt how to position our self before the jump, the position on jumping, waiting 5 seconds, checking if the chute has deployed and then freeing the toggles to gain control of the chute and steer it. We also learnt how to steer it, turn it etc. and we repeatedly rehearsed how to open the reserve parachute in case the main didn't open or got tangled. Finally we tried it out sitting in a harness.
Here I started having a problem because of no fingers. Firstly, I couldn't get a proper grip on the cutaway chord to release the main chute in order to deploy the reserve and I couldn't get a proper grip on the toggles to steer. There was a good chance that on releasing the toggles they might blow away in the wind leaving me at the mercy of the winds completely. The problem of the cutaway was sorted out by me gripping the chord with both hands and releasing it, however despite lots of tries, I was not confident about the toggles. On that basis we went for lunch.
Over lunch I discussed the matter with Bally and we decided that the best bet would be to wrap the toggles around the wrist. Wing co Thapar had arrived by then and after discussing it with him we tried it out. It worked like a dream and all my confidence returned in spades.
The drills continued till late evening and meanwhile the other guys who had done the ground training in a'bad had arrived along with Raj Ahuja who was going to free fall. We finally returned to the guest room late evening calling Thapar and his son for dinner. The plan was to have an early night but by the time Thapar came along with Raj the mood was good, we were also joined by Raj Singh and by the time the evening ended everyone was in a alcoholic daze eagerly anticipating the jump the next day.
Monday, February 25, 2008
Experiencing the ultimate
In the end of January, Bally Talwar rang up to say that I can go for the skydiving camp and the ground training starts on 1 Feb in Ahemadabad. Was slightly foxed as there was no time at all and it came as a total surprise. While I was mulling over it, he rang up again and said I can go to Deesa for ground training on 6 feb for 3 days with a jump on either 9th or 10th. I was ecstatic and booked my train tickets to Palanpur, the nearest railway station for 5th.
Now that my dream was about to become a reality, the mind started playing its games. Reminding me I had 2 small childen, we are financially secure but if something happens to me that security vanishes, dreams of the parachute not opening and 100s of such thoughts. There were times when I nearly rang up Bally to call the whole thing of. What stopped me was my dream and my self respect. How could I live with myself if I backed of now? What helped me was a meditation technique I had learned recently at the lovely ashram of Swami Paramhansa Nithyananda at Bidadi near Bangalore. The technique is based on being 'un - clutched'. It's a magnificent technique(will talk about it some other time) and it put everything in total perspective. I got back my mental frame and as 5 feb arrived I got on Ashram express at The cantt. at 3.30 pm.
I was off on a magnificent and unique adventure.
It was not to be!! As the train was nearing Rewari, I got a call from my wife telling me to come back to Delhi as there was an interview at my son's school for his admission to class 1 and both parents had to be present. Was shell shocked again. I nearly told my wife to go for the interview alone, however, if for some reason my son was not selected, I would always nurse the guilt. With a heavy heart I got of at Rewari and took a cab back to Delhi. I informed wingco Thapar and Bally about the problem and see what best could be done and whether it would be ok if I reached on 6 night and be there for the ground training on 7 & 8. Bally called back to say it was ok but I should positively reach by 6 night. Happiness again.
On reacing home I went on the net and booked my ticket by Jetlite for 5 in the evening on 6th for Ahemadabad. My wife wasn't happy to see me go once again and put my life in jeopardy again, but after a bit of grumbling she agreed.
Next morning I realised that I didn't have anything to wear. Rushed to Gopinath bazaar and picked up a black dungaree. Came home changed and went for the interview. It turned out to be a formality. Came home and left for the airport at 3.30 pm. while checking in was informed that the flight was delayed by 2 1/2 hours. Thapar had informed me that one of the instructors called Meena would also be on the same flight and we should go to deesa together. I got in touch with him and then went and had a couple of beers. Time passed and soon we were on the flight. Reached shortly before 9. I met Meena on the plane. I had asked my brother to arrange a cab for me from ahemadabad airport to Deesa and it was waiting. Both of us got on and we were off. Meena warmed my heart by getting a half of whisky. there is no better way to pass time on a road journey and before we knew it, we had arrived at deesa. Bally was waiting at the Gujarat Agricultural guest house, and after a bit of talk went to sleep anticipating an unmatchable experience
Now that my dream was about to become a reality, the mind started playing its games. Reminding me I had 2 small childen, we are financially secure but if something happens to me that security vanishes, dreams of the parachute not opening and 100s of such thoughts. There were times when I nearly rang up Bally to call the whole thing of. What stopped me was my dream and my self respect. How could I live with myself if I backed of now? What helped me was a meditation technique I had learned recently at the lovely ashram of Swami Paramhansa Nithyananda at Bidadi near Bangalore. The technique is based on being 'un - clutched'. It's a magnificent technique(will talk about it some other time) and it put everything in total perspective. I got back my mental frame and as 5 feb arrived I got on Ashram express at The cantt. at 3.30 pm.
I was off on a magnificent and unique adventure.
It was not to be!! As the train was nearing Rewari, I got a call from my wife telling me to come back to Delhi as there was an interview at my son's school for his admission to class 1 and both parents had to be present. Was shell shocked again. I nearly told my wife to go for the interview alone, however, if for some reason my son was not selected, I would always nurse the guilt. With a heavy heart I got of at Rewari and took a cab back to Delhi. I informed wingco Thapar and Bally about the problem and see what best could be done and whether it would be ok if I reached on 6 night and be there for the ground training on 7 & 8. Bally called back to say it was ok but I should positively reach by 6 night. Happiness again.
On reacing home I went on the net and booked my ticket by Jetlite for 5 in the evening on 6th for Ahemadabad. My wife wasn't happy to see me go once again and put my life in jeopardy again, but after a bit of grumbling she agreed.
Next morning I realised that I didn't have anything to wear. Rushed to Gopinath bazaar and picked up a black dungaree. Came home changed and went for the interview. It turned out to be a formality. Came home and left for the airport at 3.30 pm. while checking in was informed that the flight was delayed by 2 1/2 hours. Thapar had informed me that one of the instructors called Meena would also be on the same flight and we should go to deesa together. I got in touch with him and then went and had a couple of beers. Time passed and soon we were on the flight. Reached shortly before 9. I met Meena on the plane. I had asked my brother to arrange a cab for me from ahemadabad airport to Deesa and it was waiting. Both of us got on and we were off. Meena warmed my heart by getting a half of whisky. there is no better way to pass time on a road journey and before we knew it, we had arrived at deesa. Bally was waiting at the Gujarat Agricultural guest house, and after a bit of talk went to sleep anticipating an unmatchable experience
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Experiencing the ultimate
9 Feb 2008 will remain etched in my memory as one of the finest days of my life. I SKYDIVED!! WOW!!!
My age is 51 young and skydiving has been one of the ardent ambitions of my life.
I joined the army at the age of 20, thinking I'll have enough opportunities to fulfill my ambition. Unfortunately due to an accident, I lost all the fingers of both hands(the details will be narrated some other time) and had to leave in a very short span of time, leaving my dream unfullfilled. The next couple of decades passed in a whirl of trying to make a successful living (not a life) untill one day I looked back at it all and discovered that life is actually passing me by!! What had I done with my life? That day I decided that I'll get out of the rat race. It took time, it isn't easy to just stop working, one has to eat, support 2 small children etc. however in time it happened.
I withdrew from the race and decided to devote my life to do what I enjoyed and what I dreamed.
There are a lot of things to do. I discovered that I'm more busy now then when I was working, but now i'm doing things I enjoy and at my own pace.
One of the things on top of my list was skydiving.
It was an impracticle dream. The armed forces were the only people who conducted these jumps. The only other options was to travel outside the country. I was however told that I would not be allowed to jump because of my injury anywhere in the world(you require fingers to control your parachute and pull the cord), I wonder if it is true? Anyway I kept dreaming of diving anyway and secretly in my heart I alwas felt that I'll be able to do it. How it would happen I didn't know, I only knew that it would happen.
2008 dawned and suddenly it looked as if my dream would be realised. There were problems last minute set - backs and all the usual problems, however on 9 Feb approx at 4 pm I achieved my dream.The experience was unique and mindboggling, the ultimate high.
What does it prove? If you have a dream, keep it alive, nurse it and always remember it. You will achieve it, how it happens is not your concern. It will be done. On top of it all I'm told by my instructors that I'm the only person in the country and perhaps in the world who has skydived with such a handicap, I do't know if it is true but this has also got its own material reward.
Live your life without regrets. It's the only one you have.
My age is 51 young and skydiving has been one of the ardent ambitions of my life.
I joined the army at the age of 20, thinking I'll have enough opportunities to fulfill my ambition. Unfortunately due to an accident, I lost all the fingers of both hands(the details will be narrated some other time) and had to leave in a very short span of time, leaving my dream unfullfilled. The next couple of decades passed in a whirl of trying to make a successful living (not a life) untill one day I looked back at it all and discovered that life is actually passing me by!! What had I done with my life? That day I decided that I'll get out of the rat race. It took time, it isn't easy to just stop working, one has to eat, support 2 small children etc. however in time it happened.
I withdrew from the race and decided to devote my life to do what I enjoyed and what I dreamed.
There are a lot of things to do. I discovered that I'm more busy now then when I was working, but now i'm doing things I enjoy and at my own pace.
One of the things on top of my list was skydiving.
It was an impracticle dream. The armed forces were the only people who conducted these jumps. The only other options was to travel outside the country. I was however told that I would not be allowed to jump because of my injury anywhere in the world(you require fingers to control your parachute and pull the cord), I wonder if it is true? Anyway I kept dreaming of diving anyway and secretly in my heart I alwas felt that I'll be able to do it. How it would happen I didn't know, I only knew that it would happen.
2008 dawned and suddenly it looked as if my dream would be realised. There were problems last minute set - backs and all the usual problems, however on 9 Feb approx at 4 pm I achieved my dream.The experience was unique and mindboggling, the ultimate high.
What does it prove? If you have a dream, keep it alive, nurse it and always remember it. You will achieve it, how it happens is not your concern. It will be done. On top of it all I'm told by my instructors that I'm the only person in the country and perhaps in the world who has skydived with such a handicap, I do't know if it is true but this has also got its own material reward.
Live your life without regrets. It's the only one you have.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)